On Men and Masculinity, with Moe Carrick
What's happening to masculinity?
I'm focusing the Rethink the Future podcast on ways of co-creating a better future. These days, it seems that my use of "co-creating" will remain wishful thinking unless we address what's been happening to boys and men. So let's start that conversation.
Moe Carrick has been helping organizations improve their teams and culture for some time, writing three books on the subject along the way. We met recently, at the Responsive conference in Oakland.
A longtime TEDx licensee and motive power behind TEDxBend, Moe gave a talk at TEDxSalem that sparked this podcast conversation. It's titled Loving Men: Rethinking Women’s Role in Defining Masculinity.
Moe and I let our conversation range freely, so we could bring different facets of the dynamics for boys and men into focus and see how they influence one another. Here's the episode:
You can browse the topics, posts, books and videos we mentioned here, in my Brain.
Takeaways
Masculinity is in a transition with no guidebook. Old norms are collapsing, but the new ones are still fuzzy.
Far right movements built cultural “catchers mitts” for lonely young men, and those mitts work frighteningly well.
Feminist progress lifted many women, but the parallel support structures for men never materialized.
Shame blocks growth. If men feel blamed for everything, they disappear into defensiveness.
Healthy masculinity probably includes stewardship, emotional awareness, capability, tenderness, and responsibility. Which is to say, full humanity.
Belonging is oxygen. People will take it wherever they can find it, even if the price is high.
Redefining masculinity is not a niche project. It shapes democracy, families, community, and the social contract itself.
Links and Resources
Referenced
- Ambition
- Fight or Flight (or Freeze) Response
- Jonathan (Jon) Haidt's The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (2024)
- Margaret Travers Symons
- The Mask You Live in (2013)
- Loving Men: Rethinking Women’s Role in Defining Masculinity | Moe Carrick | TEDxSalem
- Shelley Taylor
- Tend and Befriend Response (2000)
- The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future (2013)
- The Decline of Men?
- Wonder Woman (2017 film)
This article is cross-posted on Substack here, Medium here and LinkedIn here. It's also here in my Brain.